I was finally able to exhale peacefully yesterday. It’s true what they say that you don’t really get to be fully at peace with yourself when there is something that is bottling up inside of you, and a lot sure has been making my chest tight lately.
Last week, I received an information from a relative of mine telling me that she had heard someone I know discoursing about me and some details of my personal life in public using a derisive tone. To be perfectly honest, my emotion got the best of me instantly, given that it was the very first incident that my relative made a communication with me. Such act alone kind of negated any effects of my efforts to be calm and to make sense of the situation at the time.
Overwhelmed by rage and what I felt was betrayal from someone I considered to be one of my good friends in Hinigaran, I have resorted to what I believed was a “fair” retaliative action that could somehow redeem whatever that was blasted about me.
I was able to gather support from a lot of good friends as well as friends of my husband in the US. The support was, in fact, overwhelming to the extent that it had later led to both parties’ submission of disagreement to arbitration. The person who allegedly blasted me has done her share of proving her innocence.
Now that I’m thinking back on how it had all started, I truly wish I had maintained a sound mind and given people the benefit of the doubt that they deserve. While you can’t really control how other people, most especially your relatives, perceive the way things happened, it really all boils down to my lack of better judgment of the situation.
I pray for more understanding, a humble heart and an open mind. I truly regret having inflicted someone with my rage just because I was hurt. I know that just because I’m hurt doesn’t give me the right to hurt other people. I have learned my lesson from all of these.